Here are some of the things in my life that I'll miss:
My niece, Rachel
My lil' guy
My cousin, Julian
Giselle 35 Coupe
My daughter, Giselle.
Wild n' out
My ATL brother
One last time at A&K
Nash, Skonie, Charming, and Astro.
Nice face, J!
Buncha Ys guys
My Pa2 and my big brudder
My big sis
<------Actual age not shown
Roxanne and me
J Crew represent!
The tall side of the fam
CDC- Code's gonna pass me up at about 8 or 9 years old. Great... can't wait.
Driving really fast
My red Chinese bike doesn't do 0-60 in "holy crap that's fast!" seconds
Sunrises over Lake Michigan
Staying fly, no lie
Movin' on out... to the east side (waaaay east side)
Waking up to this every morning
What to wear... what to wear?
My shoe game
Recently added: original Chucks. Yeszer!
Okay, this is just getting ridiculous...
Pulled Pork Nirvana: currently being served up at White Castle.
My first week here
I've been here for a week now. At first, all my time was spent on planes, trains, and lugging 112 lbs of suitcases up 4 flights of stairs. Now I'm settled in. It's very different here. I've been keeping a journal of what happens every day. I talk about the school, the people, the places, the food, and the vast differences between Jining, Shandong provence and Chicago, Illinois. There is so much to tell that I can't possibly express everything I'm thinking. But here's a taste...
Here are some quick observations:
China is full of contradictions.
-In Shanghai, my hotel had a Tv, internet, a nice shower.... but no elevator. Hence: lugging 112 lbs of luggage up 4 flights.
-Crappy food at a fast food joint: 50 yuan Vs. Amazing food at the outdoor market: 10 yuan
-The general population on a public level is rude. Pushing, disturbing, and never saying "excuse me or "I'm sorry." Vs. People on a personal level are incredibly nice and generous. Much nicer than American standards. These people will go out of their way to do anything for you. And they ask nothing in return. They are selfless.
There is no order in Chinese traffic. There are two sides of the road and there's a bike lane (thank God), but traffic signals don't matter much and a lot of people pretty much drive wherever they want.
Stuff is really inexpensive. Bike: 200 yuan ($30) Meal: 15 yuan ($2.20) Yearly gym membership: 1,000 yuan ($150)
Of course, I make a lot less than I would in the U.S. After $400 goes towards my car note back home, the rest is money in my pocket. As Drake would say "They can't help it, and I can't blame 'em. Since I got famous, I got money to blow."
Here's another thing about China that I don't think people grasp just yet. Over here, Americans are rare. This isn't Hong Kong or Beijing. I'm one of maybe 3-5 in the whole city. And they love us. Like: straight celebrity status. I'm going to have to take more pics to explain this phenomenon. Everywhere I go, people stare at me. At first, I just figured it was because I'm ugly. No. People often tell me that I'm handsome. 'Bout dang time! Ha ha ha. I've even heard women walk past and say "very handsome" in Chinese. People will come up to me on the street to say "hello." People love to talk to me, although they don't speak any English. They just want to hear a foreigner speak Chinese. It's not just me either. I'm pretty sure any American would be this popular over here. Yesterday, I was eating with some friends at an outdoor restaurant. People were taking pictures. I find this to be hilarious. I'm eating. And not only that, but I'm a sloppy eater. They're taking pictures. I probably have stains on my jacket and they're snapping away. Just makes me laugh.
Mo-pedding, mo problems
My guy, Zhuang Zhou. He goes by the name of Edward Cullen. Not nearly as pale, though. Edward and his buddies like to hoop, dance, go to the gym, and shoot pool. Yeah, Chinese people are soooo different. How am I ever going to fit in here? Zhuang Zhou and two of his buddies took me to shoot hoops (yeah, I had to ride on the back of his mo-ped), bought me dinner, got me into the gym, and then took me to shoot three games of pool. Chinese people are very, very generous. All three of them invited me to have dinner with their families.
Near the center of the the city. Had I taken the pic in the other direction, you would see a lot more people. A LOT.
I researched Alley Goats online. They don't lick the glue off of can labels. Instead, they like to eat products by Artistry, Nutrilite, eSpring, and Quixtar. They'll eat pretty much anything Amway tells them to. And they spend a lot of money learning how to eat the products and help their friends eat the products (so that they can collect more products to eat). They also attend weekly sales meetings.
One Alley Goats Gruff
Yeah, umm... this would be a goat, leashed to a door, with an Amway sign on it, in the alley where I park my bike to go to school. So... there's that. It's just your normal run of the mill farm animal in an alley, leashed to the door of a major U.S. corporation. Nothing special. Stop staring!
Think Ray Lewis hits hard? You ever been hit by a taxi?
So I was riding to work today and I see all these people stopped, looking at this dude who's sitting in the middle of the street, lookin' like he just got his bell rung by a 300 lb tailback. This taxi hit him, and that would be his bike, lying on the ground to the left of him. Fortunately, the taxi was going in the same direction, and he didn't seem to be injured that badly. I've been here just 5 days and that's all it took to witness my first accident. That's what'cha get when you have a city full of people who drive offensively and thoughtlessly. It's bound to happen over and over. I think I'll continue to look both ways before I cross the street.
Charlie Murphy: Man, my head is bumpin'!
Rick James: Now that ya mention it, I think I'm bleeding inside my chest.
The car ride
Shadow, Sarah, and me
The driver/my student
Dai Wen Bo... he needs and English name. He can't be running around England, trying to get them to pronounce his name correctly. I mean, they can't even pronounce "aluminum" correctly. What the heck is aluminium? That ain't a word!
I can't tease Betsy here because her English is really good and she'd understand what I was saying... and then she'd beat the mess outta me. All 5 feet of her, ha ha ha. "Ay shawtay... what it do, babe?"
That thing I forgot to do before I left the states
Good... I can go pay my tickets.
The Spring Forest grounds. Stunning.
Yeah, it's THAT old.
The Black Tiger Spring
The clarity of the water makes the pond look surreal.
Clownin'. Always clownin'.
They didn't have books, so you had to read these before bedtime.
That's the biggest "one of these" I've ever seen.
The roaring spring
It was cool, but it didn't sound like a tiger's roar, as they claim it does. If a tiger roared like this, he'd probably get laughed at by his friends. Someone might throw something at him as well. They'd be right to do so.
We took a picture together. Now her cousin thinks we're dating. Her cousin's my boss... awesome.
Superstitious like Wade Boggs
People throw red ribbons in the tree for good luck.
Sarah and Monster (yes, Monster) demonstrate how people used to get to work back in the day.
I climb on stuff
This is me, squatting on a thing that you're not supposed to squat on.
Alex rides the turtlion
And I'm sure they love us standing on this thing
I climb on stuff, that's what I do. If they didn't want us climbing on it, there should've been a sign... in English... and Chinese... that was bigger than the one they already had. I mean, who has time to read signs?
Sarah and Brenda
My ladies n' me
<Ahem>... I mean "coworkers."
I have good aim
Maggie and me in the self-taken shot
Wave to your fans
Sarah's a pop star. In Wisconsin, they'd refer to her as a "soda star."
His feminine side
Monster takes time to stop and smell the peach blossoms. Awwwww.
Nice double entendre
In Chinese, to say someone has peach tree luck means the opposite sex is attracted to them. I, myself don't have it. So I think these women are just gathering around the peach tree.
A nice contrast with the pine trees
All of us (and one student) on the way out of the Spring Forest
The zoo at An Shan Si
Well, this guy was looking at the camera just before it went off. I think he was messing with me. He'd look at me 'til just before I took the pic. You win this round, monkey- but you're not beating me in chess again.
I set the timer
....and then ran back to get in the pic with Sarah.
A beautiful view through the doorway
I dunked my lottery ticket in the spring... wasn't so lucky.
I dunno. But everything else is lucky, so: why not?
Alex poses for a quick pic while on the hike.
I want to fly like a beagle.
Shadow on the trail
Why did Shadow, Alex and I run up the mountain while everyone else looked like they were gonna plotz? 'Cause that's what riding your bike long distance to work everyday does to ya. Conditioning!
I was gonna triple spin instead, but it was a long way down.
Like I said...
A looooong way down.
The red temple
One time I was playing with nunchucks. My temple was red for a week. This old lady came along and opened the doors for us to look inside. There was a shrine to the immortal Tai Shang Lao Jun.
I had to hang the camera from the branch of this little tree to take this pic.
Student and teacher
This is one of my students, Dai Wen Bo. He's about to kill his English exam on Saturday the 17th, in Qing Dao. You can watch the event on Pay Per View. I taught him to say "My name is Dai Wen Bo and I'm here to ROCK this exam. Bring it." Aw shoot... I may have just made him fail the exam.
The Buddhist temple at the mountain
I bowed to numerous deities. A good time was had by all.
Oooh, my name!
So apparently the name "Stanley" is pronounced "Shi-Dan-Li."
The Flying Pigeon
This is my new means of transportation.
Just before all the pennies fell out of my pocket:
This is me, messin' around at the park in an apartment complex. My friends were passing out flyers for the school and my job was to watch the bikes while hanging upside down.
Just before both of my shoulders dislocated
Okay, not really. But it would've been funny if my friends came back and I was lying face down in the sand.
This is my banner. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
I went on a trip to Wen Shan and they made this big banner for me to stand in front of while the kids walked home from school. Sarah is doing a better pointing job than I am.
Wonder what's goin' on here...
I'm goin' on here. That's what.
My speaking engagement (taking after my father)
The teachers from the school in Wen Shan take us to this mall. Out front in a big square, there's a big, red carpet stage, huge speakers, and a space closed off. I'm wondering "Huh... I wonder what's going on here." Well what's going on is that I'm about to teach English to about 500 kids, their parents, and anyone else who came by.
Found my calling
And then they gave me a mic. Dangerous. Little kids are very excitable- especially in large groups. Dan is very excitable- especially in front of 800 people. I wanted to say "Yo DJ, gimme that beat. I'm about to drop this sh*t." And then I realized that I'd be the only person out of 801 people who would understand it and get a kick out of it. I entertain myself enough as it is. But Mos Def would've been proud.
This was a huge crowd. And you know how intimidating middle schoolers are. I'm still sweating. After my.... "performance" shall we call it? I dunno. After my "thing" I stayed around to talk to people and sign autographs. I signed most of 'em "Reggie Bush" but that's okay... they probably can't read it anyway.
Yeah, good job. Neva let 'em see you smile.
Be like Dan. Drink Gatorade... and get inked up
Geez, I'm such a bad influence. If only all bad influential decisions could be removed with soap and water.
Hi Mom, we're number one!
Qi Zi Jian, posing for a quick pick and not letting me work. Such distractions are crucial to my... yeah- we were playing with the Photo Booth application on my Mac Book.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Everyone at my job loves playing with Photo Booth!
Betsy and me at the "beach"
What'cha pay for. And haircuts in China cost under $2. Next time, gimme the $20 special and line me up like they do back home. It's okay.... I'll pay the 15th and Wabash price.
The Taste Of Jining
This is where I eat lunch everyday.... for a dollar. You can begin to feign your unjealousy now.
Mmmm, Chinese Oreos. You know they're gonna be awesome, 'cause it even says "Good Taste" right on the package. It's not like they could get away with false advertising. Especially not in China, right?
New word from the Chinese government reports that good tasting snacks have been banned. The front of the package even says "black" with little eyes in the character! That's not black. It also says "Chocolate With Filling." That ain't chocolate and there's no filling.
Chinese Oreo company, I will never forgive you for this.
Oh wait... I found the "filling" part.
We love to Converse in both English and in Chinese
Eeny meeny miney mo, do we rock Chucks? Oh- fa sho!
What a way to make a living...
Here's Shadow, working on some important tech type stuff. I don't know what it is because I'm not that tech savvy. But it looks really important and business-like.
Heavy work load
Wang Chao takes a quick second to drink some tea before he dives back into grading papers and working on a formula to find out the square root of this room.
Power lunch, followed by a power nap
Ha ha ha, sorry Sarah.
Intra office politics
Monster and Sarah throw some ideas back and forth. Later, Sarah would come by Monster's desk to bounce some things off of him. For instance: some pens, a stapler, a chair, her fists...
Straaaange Chinese textbooks
She's serious when she says "I don't care how funny you are, you look like a cross between Gacy and Pennywise."
Eager, aren't we?
The chalkboard says "Meet your classmates" not "Come on waaay too strong to your classmates"
My new view
It's no Mich Ave. and 18th, but it'll do.
What's with the bars? This isn't Compton, and I'm not even close to the ground level.
Out n' about
Club A8 on a Sunday night. Because... why not? Only in China am I the best dancer and the worst talker in a club. The exact opposite from the U.S.
The People's Park
A beautiful waterfall, along the walking path
The poating flagoda
The floating pagoda. If you throw a coin and it lands on the pagoda and doesn't roll off, you get either 20 tickets or a large, pink, stuffed animal frog, wearing sunglasses.
A bridge too far... east
The beautiful sights at The People's Park
Friday night entertainment
Rock band above a karaoke bar. Okay....
Do I know these crazy chicks?
Sarah and Zhou Lu Lu, screwin' around in a small, humid room at the coffee house.
(Not pictured: Zhou Lu Lu's boyfriend, minus one shirt.)
Chillin' at the coffee house
Zhou Lu Lu and me at the humid coffee house. This is the fourth photo because I'd decided I didn't like how I looked in the first three. Still not sure I like this one. Whateva.
Lunch at the park
This is my lunch scenery on my days off. Beautiful.
Ha ha, this dude
He was washing bird cages... with the birds inside them. They were goin' nuts. The guy seemed calm, though. Good for him.
I'm becoming a regular here. This time, I went with Yang Jin. We downed Cokes and put on a dancing clinic.
Slight variation: Swedish spelling
Yeah, not even close. Just write my Chinese name next time.
It's the Nordic spelling
I went to speak at a business conference. I think my friend told them to put "Dan J. Yan0ff." Yeah, close enough.
What a coincidence!
You have what tattooed on your wrists? No kiddin'. Me too!
Maaaaan, I can't draw worth squat.
Chillin' with friends
Played dice games and Jenga at the bar with new friends.
What face was I trying to make here?
My shirt says "I rock UpWord Momentum." My face says "this is my stupid picture pose."
It's good to be American
When you get in good with the employees at the bar, they give you free drinks. Yay... another can of Coke. Awesome.
Oh it must be laundry night at the Yanoff household.
Ba na na na, heeeeey heeeeey goodbye
We went to Ba Na Na for Sam's birthday. He got up on stage and sang "Chocolate Salty Balls" by Chef and "Devil's In The House Of The Rising Sun" by Charlie Daniel's Band. We got 40 free beers! Score!
No one told these DBs
I rushed the stage to get in a pic with my favorite performer, Sam (now that Michael Jackson passed away). These two idiots thought they'd come over and make sure I didn't stir up any trouble. They couldn't make the connection that he's a friend of mine, despite the fact that I was up close, taking pics of his performance and that we're both American. "Good call guys. Did anyone ever tell you that you like like a penis with a little hat on?"
Okay, I know what the chick in the blue is pointing at, but..........
Yes! Awesome! That is awesome!
Ha ha, Rex!
Wow. That floor is dirtay.
The guys, minus Sam and Rex, who were working out the final details for Sam's performance.
"Hi Mom, I was just whooooa."
The other pay phone had barbed wire, land mines, and an attack cheetah.
Watch your step, please
....as you fall into this huge ditch. And then watch your broken ankle, please.
Dang, I'm like 6'7" (or 483 centimeters as they call it here)
This pic was by their request. We also took pics with their cameras. Why'd they bring their cameras to work?
P.S. I would trade my celebrity status for one day where no one honked their horn.
Alley/Amway mascot (see above)
The alley goat was trying to reach the leaves, growing on a vine, above the door with the Amway sign on it, but it couldn't reach. Since I'm taller when I stand on my hind legs (like Rory Calhoun), I reached some leaves and gave it to the alley goat.
Sometimes you have to make sacrifices. And sometimes you have to say "Ah screw it!" and bring your kid into a club at 11:30pm.
Say "hello" to mah lil' friend
I came to a stoplight and heard a "mew.... mew.... mew...." This is what I found. I didn't want it to run into the street, so I put him in the basket of my mo-ped and took him to the bar. I found a nice girl with two cats, who said she'd take him. I miss this lil' guy. <tear>
Speaking of bringing your children to a club...
It was past someone's bed time. All curled up in my hands, straight chillin' at the club.
You're a fan of the worst team in baseball?!?! Meeee toooo! We have so much in common (not to mention our matching wrist tattoos. Again: see above).
That's the crib
Zhi Cheng Guo Ji or "International... Guo Ji place" as we'd call it in English. That's why we don't call it in English.
On the way to Hong Kong
This is a city called Shen Zhen where I stopped along the way. This park is called the Window To The World. This Pyramide de Louvre- looking thing is the window to the... subway. That made it easy enough to find the subway.
Window to the faux world
Worldly structures. Most of which, I've seen the originals.
They told me I had to take the East Rail to get to Kow Loon. I thought they were talking about mad cow disease. Well what do you expect? I don't speak no friggin' Cantonese.
Walkway to the train for Kow Loon Bay
"Now I'm off to Kow Loon for some Ramen and some tea."
-What It Do
...was too expensive for my Jining salary. Whoa.
Like: waaaay too expensive. Ballin'!
I won't even put up the rest of the car pics that I took. There are just far too many. And I ran out of bibs.
Lan Kwai Fong district
Hong Kong's party district. I got into much trouble here.
I was sitting in my four star (why the hell'd they put me in a four star...) hotel room, eating leftovers from dinner and watching Deuce Bigalow 2, European Gigolo. Wow. I went down to the concierge desk to ask them if the mall was still open. They said I had 30 minutes 'til it closes. I jumped in a cab, dashed upstairs to the men's department and bought a relatively cheap shirt so I'd have something to wear (I didn't pack smart at all for my trip). I tear off the tags, jump in the cab, and head to the party district. I'm so resourceful, ha ha.
United nations... blitzed
Chicago, Tazmania, London, Hong Kong- nice! I wandered around Lan Kwai Fong in my new shirt until I found some dudes who didn't look like D-bags. I asked them if I could join them since I was by myself. They said of course I could join them. Apparently, the dude from Tazmania had done the same about 30 minutes prior. About an hour later, some other people joined us. One lady and her husband were from Capetown and another woman was from Sao Paolo. Perfect! Now all we need is someone from Antarctica and we'll have all the continents covered.
So we made some friends
These girls are also technically foreigners because they were visiting from Nanjing.
Made some other friends
More foreigners. Filippino this time. They were impressed with the five words I know in Tagalog.
My railway station hotel room
I had a four and a half hour layover in Wuchang. What else was I gonna do? It was either this, or sit in the park and feed the pigeons. Those pigeons did look hungry, though. Oh well.
Is this the children's section?
I used to ride on my dad's shoulders. One day when I was four, he said "Kid, you're getting too big for this." Well say it again, Dad. I couldn't even sit up in my bed on the sleeper train. I would've taken a picture with a better perspective, except... there wasn't one.
This pic didn't come out so clearly due to its neon flourine glow, but apparently now they're using my Jeet Kune Do shifu (teacher) to advertise "Nutritious Food." Yeah, it's the advertisement for a fast food restaurant. Great.
The new new ride
No, I dunno why it's parked in my kitchen. Maybe next time I won't stay out until 3am, 4hours after the garage closes.
Gi-tto license plate. Thank you, Sharpie
Like David Mothafrikkin' Hasselhoff
Sad... just sad
Here's one of the many spellings I've seen. I've also seen adidsa and adidsu. PUMA is PAMU and PMUA. I once saw a shirt that said Nickee and had a poorly drawn swoosh. Welcome to China. 'Nuff said.
No no, it's a bottle of peanut oil, not a massage parlor
They couldn't have named it "Happy Swan," "Happy Oriole," or "Happy Crane"? Oh well. Happy Swallow it is.
Not a clue
This is the shirt my friend wore to work. She had no clue why I almost fell on the floor, laughing that hard.
In case you can't make out what it says on her shirt, it's 3 bottles of OE. That'd be a 40 oz. of Olde English malt liquor AKA: liquid crack. If you're still unfamiliar, take a trip to the hood and go into any liquor store.
Good ol' Jackie Robikson from the Brooklyn Dodgefs
My friend wore this hat to work. She's a huge baseball fan. And by "huge baseball fan" I mean that she's once heard of that sport they play in America, called “棒球.”
Her name is Xi Shi. She's like... I dunno how many years old she is. But she's fast. That's what counts, right?
Problems ensue... multiple problems
I bought the bike. The battery dies two days later. The foot brake needs tightening. The bike occasionally has trouble switching out of first gear, causing me to have to go from a complete stop- directly into 2nd gear. The night before my birthday, I'm driving to meet some friends at a restaurant. The clutch snaps. AWESOME! The guy who sold it to me didn't want to come fix it, but I took the Corleone approach and gave him an offer he couldn't refuse. I come home after work and- great, he's already there, waiting for me. And he's got a brand new clutch with him. Cool, cool. So we walk over to where I parked my bike last night...
Happy birthday, Dan.
Now: cab rides ensue... multiple cab rides.
King of the dips
In China, you treat everyone to dinner on your birthday. No sweat, I had some hookups. It ended up being really inexpensive for a 9 person dinner. It's good to be king.
New, new toy
Bought this yesterday. First off, it's brand new. And unlike on my last bike, the battery, clutch, gears, foot brake, gas gauge, and speedometer work. Secondly, I have two locks for it and I lock the steering column every time I leave it outside. Thirdly, it has a little pic of a cellphone. When someone calls or texts me, it starts blinking! How frikkin' cool is that?
In a race, a 2011 Hyabusa might win, sure... but they'd have like 4 missed calls. Pfff, what good is that?
Just in case you were wondering...
...go like this. But....
...go like that. Great, thanks. Just wanted to clear that up.
Completely acceptable in this country:
Two guys spooning... passed out, drunk... in public...
Welcome to China.
P.S. These dudes' girlfriends were trying to wake them up.
(Not pictured) Guy in the white shirt's lower back tattoo.
Qufu University (Qufu U) speaking engagement.... LAME!
Are you ready to rock?!?! 'Cause if so, leave here and go somewhere that doesn't suck.
Bottom left corner
I am just so excited to be here tonight!
Study English with this dude and you'll be just as good of an English speaker as he is! I had no idea what this dude was trying to tell me.
Signing autographs for the most timid college students ever
I make this one out to Zhang Fei Yi and the other ones to three other people of the exact same name?
We can go home now, right? We were there for like 4 hours. But at least the food sucked.
Hiking Yi Shan 嶧山 with Liu Xin on 9/17
The orange stuff all over the side of the road- yeah, that's like a million ears of corn. It sits on the road. And then they mash it and grind it... on the road. And then I eat it.
Yi Shan 嶧山
This is the front entrance, which we didn't use when entering. Turns out it's free admission if you go around the side of the mountain. Same with movie theaters.
Up the side of the mountain
Looked like it could tumble at any moment. Probably looked like that for the past 20,000 years too.
On the way up...
It's a good thing those sticks are holding up this boulder, 'cause I dunno what else is. It was almost entirely off the ground. That's some David Copperfield stuff right there.
Maybe that's the stone Andy Dufresne was talking about when he said it has no earthly business being there.
Near the top of one of the peaks
I was up there, taking a peek. I had to... it piqued my interest. Someone stop me before I hurt myself.
At the temple
Restaurants, temple, and all your mountain monk needs
Throughway to the temple
So I was up here....
... doin' this
... and some of this
... this too
If you're gonna do gong fu...
... might as well do it in China
Ba Gua Zhang
Cable cars or "ski lift"
The easy way down
Xin n' me
Nothin' like hoopin' at the base of Yi Shan.
A little sweaty, but who isn't?
Trip to Hang Zhou: 9/28 - 10/5
Temple and grounds at West Lake 西湖
Buddhas, Buddhas everywhere...
Simplicity? Short people? Technology? No, you're thinking of Japan.
God of war or somethin'
You got a war face? Show me your war face! Ahhh! That's a war face!
Hall of Buddha
I thought it was in Cooperstown. Wait... what am I thinking of?
Buddha inside a Buddha
You wanna play rough? Well say "hello" to mah lil' friend!
The "can't no one hold me down" Buddha
Stickin' it to the man!
One of the temples, anyway.
It was like this the whole trip. They're just so cute, it makes me sick. Or maybe that was the raw chicken I ate.
Early evening at Hang Zhou's main attraction
More unexplained Chinese lameness
This girl was taking pictures of her boyfriend, lying in a "seductive" pose on a park bench. He could've been holding a pink, frilly umbrella and it wouldn't have made it that much stranger.
Just when you thought you couldn't top the last picture... Now we've got a dude taking a pic of another dude, sitting on a male statue's lap, with his hands on the statue's hands. Uh huh.
Festival not included.
On the steps at the Gu Shan grounds
Mike's rockin' his "The foreigners are here" shirt, which I kindly asked him to never ever wear again in public, as we get enough attention as it is.
Maggie, Mark, and me
At Club Gaga... or some ripoff name
The Song Dynasty theme park
Yeah- you can make a theme park out of anything.
Disrespectin' your traditional house
Man, Chinese security guards do NOT like it when you do stuff like this.
Enter The Swaggin'
Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
Tacos and burritos
Okay- this isn't a good pic, but doesn't it look like I'm in a Mexican restaurant?
I didn't smile because it was really dark in there and I didn't think it'd turn out.
On the bridge, near food row
Playin' with the b&w setting
Everything becomes artsy in black and white.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
The happy couple
It was so nice of them to invite me on their second honeymoon. Too bad we all had to share a room for half the trip. Told 'em they should've gone to Oahu instead.
Took a night cruise down the Grand Canal
Chicago doesn't have this
Second night, along the riverfront
Gettin' silly at Club 88
She didn't understand that you can't bomb a Jack on the rocks. I'm not explaining it to her a third time, either.
Back home now
We did a ton of things. I just didn't have my camera to document them all. I DO however have a video of this old dude straight hip hop dancing in the park. Ask me about it sometime.
New New New Toy
Jeremy was right. If you eat PB&J long enough, you can buy what you really want.
...Yeah zoom, zoom, zoom.
So fly, the cops get out of the car and beat their own asses.
Blowin' up Jining.
This is what Mike bought Xiao Xiao for her birthday. The guy at the pet shop said he's 80% Golden Retriever. Uh huh- because everyone traces a dog's lineage back that far to get a percentage like that.
Mike and his first born son
...First born son with glowing eyes
Xiao Xiao and her baby
He has his mother's eyes, his father's amount of body hair, and Uncle Dan's appetite.
Here's Rex, enjoying one of his favorite activities: biting the sh- outta stuff. Particuarly: my hand.
"Rex, NO- bad dog! I mean 不, 坏狗! Ah geez, what language do you understand?"
We love our pup! Look at that punim.